Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
