he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
