Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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