I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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