My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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