watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
