He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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