i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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