Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
