I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
