They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's rum buckets o'clock
Two words: blizzard sex
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
