farters have to be the big spoon...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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