Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and she was petting her beer can
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
