I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
