Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
