God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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