Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How does one acquire holy water?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
