I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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