he shaved USA in his pubs
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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