Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was born a porn star she said
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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