I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
