I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
COCAINE IS GR8
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
