I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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