Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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