ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
