roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
