You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize