dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just found puke in my bra..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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