So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
