he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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