he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
