i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
