Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
