I love black thongs
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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