I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
