Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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