Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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