She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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