its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
