I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
