Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
