she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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