Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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