Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
