Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
