You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
