I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
