so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
