I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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