I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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