Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
