Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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