At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
