when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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