Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
