my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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