Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
