It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
