He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Mom said you looked used
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
