I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
