i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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