i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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