If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
