You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
